Maybe it’s the heat, but there’s been a spate of animal stories lately. And some aren’t pretty.

Like those pesky squid who could soon put a dent in your enjoyment of California rolls…

And the invasion of Humboldt squid seems to be making a noticeable dent in the local population of hake, experts note in a new study.

Hake, also known as Pacific whiting, is used to make imitation crab, fish sticks, and other minced-fish products. Full story here

So maybe you don’t care about fish sticks, but this next one is sure to make you sit up. How about those Lion Eating Chimps….

Deep in the Congolese jungle is a band of apes that, according to local legend, kill lions, catch fish and even howl at the moon. Local hunters speak of massive creatures that seem to be some sort of hybrid between a chimp and a gorilla. Full story here

Even though EB’s aunt lives there, this picture pretty much ensures I won’t be visiting Florida any time soon…

The South Asian snakes, which can top 300 pounds and 20 feet, are presumed to have entered the park as discards or escapees from the bustling international trade in exotic pets. Year-old, footlong pythons are a popular $70 item at reptile fairs and on the Web but in a few years can reach room-spanning, cat-munching size, prompting some owners to abandon them by the roadside. Full story here

Meanwhile, in the Mad Dogs and Englishwomen Department, even our furry friends aren’t immune to the evils of the internet…

A dog breeder says her prize-winning standard poodle has had his identity “stolen” over the internet. Full story here

And finally – you might want to think again the next time the cat curls up with you…

Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours. His accuracy, observed in 25 cases, has led the staff to call family members once he has chosen someone. It usually means they have less than four hours to live. Full story here

I thought we had problems because of frequent visits by black bears in our back yard in North Vancouver. And then I read this:

A spokesman for Durham Police said: “We cannot stress too highly how dangerous this animal is. It will attack anyone it sees and the public must not approach it in any circumstances.”

The rampaging animal in question is — a cow.

via BBC  “Armed police shoot escaped heifer”

I ask you, what did I ever do to you ?

See where your URL stands.

The internet really does  makes getting up in the morning worthwhile.

Living up to the hype of the mid-90’s, every day on the internet brings new surprises and riches of immense proportion.

For instance, just today I won a $ 550,000 BMW. 

Imagine waking up to that !  It’s got to make your day, eh ?   All I have to do to claim it is reply to an email from the manager at BMW, who oddly enough, has a yahoo UK email address. You’d think a big company like BMW would at least give its employees a company email address.  Maybe they’re too busy giving away cars.

I’ve also been receiving a lot of great ecards from old friends and worshippers.  This is good because I thought my number of worshippers lately had dropped off but apparently not.  Just Good Karma I Guess.

There is a down side. 

I am constantly being warned about something important I have to do with bank accounts I didn’t even know I had.  I have a lot of bank accounts.  Probably because of all that money I’ve been getting on the internet.   

On the plus side, I have been approved for credit, by my rough calculation, to the sum of about 4,000,000 dollars just in the last couple of weeks alone.  That’ll come in handy as I tool around in my new BMW. 

Problem is, I haven’t had time to get any of these things sorted out, because I’ve just been too busy enlarging my penis.