The internet really does makes getting up in the morning worthwhile.
Living up to the hype of the mid-90’s, every day on the internet brings new surprises and riches of immense proportion.
For instance, just today I won a $ 550,000 BMW.
Imagine waking up to that ! It’s got to make your day, eh ? All I have to do to claim it is reply to an email from the manager at BMW, who oddly enough, has a yahoo UK email address. You’d think a big company like BMW would at least give its employees a company email address. Maybe they’re too busy giving away cars.
I’ve also been receiving a lot of great ecards from old friends and worshippers. This is good because I thought my number of worshippers lately had dropped off but apparently not. Just Good Karma I Guess.
There is a down side.
I am constantly being warned about something important I have to do with bank accounts I didn’t even know I had. I have a lot of bank accounts. Probably because of all that money I’ve been getting on the internet.
On the plus side, I have been approved for credit, by my rough calculation, to the sum of about 4,000,000 dollars just in the last couple of weeks alone. That’ll come in handy as I tool around in my new BMW.
Problem is, I haven’t had time to get any of these things sorted out, because I’ve just been too busy enlarging my penis.