Five Things I Know About Moose

canadian moose 

  1. In high school, our biology teacher Mr. Wally took us for a field trip to a floating bog in Riding Mountain National Park. Two major events happened during this outing.  One of our class members fell through through the delicate bog surface and almost disappeared into 5 metres of bog water. The other thing that happened was Mr. Wally’s moose-call. We all thought it was hilarious, until a mom moose actually showed up with calf, scaring the living crap out of all of us – Mr. Wally included.  Moose have this in common with side-view mirrors;  things are much larger than they appear. 
  2. Moose have bad eyesight. Really bad eyesight. They rely on smell to figure out if you’re a relatively innocuous backwoodsman or a scared sh*tless teenage biology student.
  3. In the summer, moose eat leaves, twigs, shrubs and water plants in great quantity. A large moose will eat 25 to 30 kilograms of stuff a day. They will also dive up to 5 metres to feed on lilies or any wayward high school biology students who may be found nearby.
  4. Baby moose look pretty wonky on their pegs, and are helpless for the first few days after birth. However, they quickly find their legs, and within a couple of days they can outrun an adult human. The only thing faster than a baby moose is a frightened teenage biology student.
  5. Northern Voice is an awesome conference in Vancouver that has a Moose for logo.  The mere logo itself instills fear in every one of Mr. Wally’s class of ’74 grade XII biology students. After years of therapy, many of us have learned to face the fear and Embrace the Moose!

Moose facts courtesy Hinterland’s Who’s Who (hum the theme, I know you want to).  No actual high school students were harmed during the field trip, but everything else is true.  Mr. Wally is a real person, and was the best high school biology teacher I ever had.  He was also the only high school biology teacher I ever had.  This post was inspired by kk’s reminder to sign up for Northern Voice.  I did, you should too.  

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